Searching For My Brother’s Birth-Parents

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My brother, Steve, is an awesome guy. He’s crazy funny, very political, a little off the wall, and always good for a good pep talk that may or may not include seriousness.

Growing up Steve and I weren’t very close. Time and age did that for us. But now, he’s my go-to brother. He’s Zadey favorite Uncle, and she’s the only one that calls him “Do-Do” instead of Uncle in the family.

steve-zadey

Steve & Zadey in 2010.

Steve has been a great sounding board for me, for a long time. As an adult, one of my favorite things was sharing a duplex with Steve while we were living in Las Vegas and having him right next door at all times.

When it was time to put our dog to sleep, as kids, Steve came home for the night to sit with her. And as she closed her eyes, Steve was the last person she saw.

He’s incredibly sarcastic, very go-with-the-flow, serious, tender-hearted (don’t tell him I said that), and he’s my big brother.

Steve is also adopted.

The oldest of our family, my parents were told they couldn’t have children. So, they adopted. Steve came first, then my sister McKay. And then somehow, Mom got pregnant and continued to have four more children: Taylor, Morgan, Cameron, and me.

Talking to Steve About Adoption

Steve has always been very open to discussing his adoption. He’ll answer any questions we have for him, and from time to time we’ve talked about whether or not he’ll look for his birth-parents.

For a long time, he didn’t seem to have any interest in it. And, there’s something just so fitting about Steve, most of us seem to forget that he’s adopted, anyway. I know mom has begun to make a couple of comments about when he was born and that would stop herself… “uh, wait a minute…” We laugh (at her) when she does this.

I’ve always told Steve that he could find his birth-parents, but I wasn’t too crazy about the idea of him having siblings. And, I’m sure he does. I’m just teasing him, though. I’m secure enough in being his (favorite) sister that he can have a few more siblings… he’s already got 5, what’s a couple more?

So, I think it was sometime last year that Steve finally decided he was going to take a step. And one step he did take… he requested his adoption records.

When they arrived it was line after line of blacked out information, except in a couple of spots they seem to have (accidentally, on purpose?) missed that revealed the information we needed.

He mentioned it to me, in passing, and we haven’t talked about it but once since then.

Just a couple of weeks ago I asked him if he had found anything. We were on the phone talking our normal crap to each other, just shooting the shit and it popped in to my mind. He said he’s spent a whole hour online searching with no luck. Nothing comes up for the names he has and he got bored with it.

He’s a serious hunter.

I told him to send me the information he has and I’ll Google and see if I can do something.

A week passes and I too have no luck. So when I talked to him again I asked him a question….

Okay, I’m going to ask you something. Just think about it before you answer. Can I blog about your adoption and share the information? I’m kinda really in to this and I want to see if we can hunt these people down. I’m a good detective, on the internet.

adoption-heart

He, obviously, said no! HA! I’m totally kidding. He instantly answered that he didn’t care and so, here we are.

See, the thing is, I think his birth-parents have kind of unique names and they’re from a uniquely named city. How hard could this be, right? Except NOTHING comes up with their names. NOTHING. And while it might sound like a great idea to shout these names from the rooftop, I’m not going to.

We know that Steve’s birth-mom was just 14 years old when she had him. She was so young, we have no idea how sharing her name could impact her. And, while I want my brother to find his birth-family, I cannot do it by ruining someone’s life.

Furthermore, I don’t know if they want to be found.

Lastly, holding back the names gives us identifiers, should someone step forward as his birth-parents.

Facts About Steve’s Birth

Here’s what we know for sure, other than their names.

  • Date of Birth: September 26, 1968
  • His birth-mom attended West Jr. High School in Puyallup, WA
  • Steve was born at Tacoma General Hospital in Tacoma, WA.
  • Steve was adopted by Douglas & Caralynn Rawson
  • Steve’s full (adopted) given name is Steven Parker Rawson
  • He was adopted through the State of Washington
  • Steve was given to my parents at about 8 weeks old; his foster parents called him Craig

Are You Searching?

Have you ever done an adoption search? If you have, I’d love to know about any resources you’ve used, anything that has worked, anything that has been a dead end. As our search has just begun, and I’ve never done a search of this nature, guidance would be appreciated.

If you are a birth-parent and this information sounds familiar to you, PLEASE contact me at Katy AT MovingThroughLife DOT com. Including your name, at the time of Steve’s birth, would be incredibly helpful for a quick response.

5 Comments

  1. says

    I hope that he has the opportunity to find and meet his birth parents. I think it’s nice that you are being sensitive as to how this could impact them.

  2. says

    I searched for my birth father on 1-800- US Search . I found him and sent him a letter. We met for dinner over 10yrs ago. that was the 1st time and last time I saw him. I found my siblings on facebook that was easy after I knew what town they were from and their full names. My father insisted I wasn’t his but there was a paternity test so he knows that answer doesn’t fly with me.

    He’s never bothered to hold a relationship with me or give me is phone number just as well. He was never there before and i don’t expect him to be now.

    They friended me but have not bothered to make plans to met me and I asked over and over.

    I would say I hope that he finds them but just know they won’t be found unless they want to be.

    I could understand he wants questions answered and that it would be something that would make him feel whole but I hope that he finds what he’s looking for because sometimes you just don’t like what you find.

    Good luck with your search .

  3. says

    My mom lost her birth mother this past November. We are still desperately trying to find her birth father. Like you, I have limited information. I cannot find him. The last known address for him is a house that no longer exists. I am afraid that due to age he may be in a nursing facility or living with other children. I’m so sad. I wish there was an easier way. Good luck in your search!

  4. Donna K says

    I am an adoptive mother. I understand that many people who were adopted want to meet their birth parents. But be very careful. The reunification stories frequently don’t turn out good.

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